I know, I know. You don’t have to tell me. I’m behind on just about everything these days. We opened our incredible review box how many days ago now? We teased the contest how long after that? And we’re just now getting to the actual start of the contest??? In the middle of a group break, where it could potentially get lost in the shuffle of endless Fleer boxes? What are we thinking?
I bet the next thing we’re going to tell you is that we still haven’t come up with a decent idea for what the contest is going to be and that really we’re just typing this fake diatribe of disappointment as a stall tactic hoping that something will pop into our heads miraculously by the time we finish this sentence so that it looks like we really spent all this time planning some awesome, yet simple idea that the whole world would want to enter.
Damn. Didn’t work. Okay, let me think, now….
I got it! I’m going to make YOU think. I want answers to the following questions, but there’s a catch. Your answers can’t be the same as anyone else’s answer. I will allow duplicates only if an earlier comment doesn’t get approved in time. Otherwise, if you say the same thing as anyone else, the entry is disqualified.
The prizes you’re going for are the three on-card autographs we pulled. Here are some reminder pictures:
#'d 138/499 & 154/499 respectively
Rookie Autos above; Fake Ice Auto below
044/100
As for the triple patch – that will be placed on ebay, since the majority of you voted to have us sell it and buy boxes for a free group break with the money. The asking price seems to have dropped some since, but it should still be enough for a couple boxes with money left over for the shipping. There are a couple other things to assemble and throw up there and we’ll post the auction link on the blog once it’s live so you can chart the progress or promote it or ignore it completely.
Anyway, to win one of the three autos above, give a completely original answer to the following 3 questions. The qualifying entries will be thrown into the Randomification 3000 Deluxe machine to pop out 3 winners.
Question 1)
Name your favorite movie dealing with royalty (either in subject matter or in the title).
Question 2)
Michael Jackson is the King of Pop. Howard Stern is the King of All Media. What person would you appoint to be the King or Queen of something, and what would they rule over?
Question 3)
I just saw an old Ricky Gervais bit (Warning: NSFW language) about this and I want to know your answer. Why send ALL the kings horses and ALL the kings men to put Humpty Dumpty back together again?
So, there you are. How about we give everyone until the end of Monday night to think about it and get their answers in? Then if we can actually get to it, we’ll post the winners on Tuesday night! How’s that for prompt. I know. Still not good.
1. Role Models (the King of LAIRE is Ken Jeong. ‘Nuff said.)
2. Queen of Annoyance – Kathy Griffin
3. The dude was an egg. A walking, talking egg. Any kingdom that has an egg of this stature and magnitude needs to preserve it.
Question 1: 300 (Spartan royalty counts, right?)
Question 2: Megan Fox and Amber Heard (Queens of my Dreams)
Question 3: You send everyone because the “French invading” is an oxymoron.
1. King Ralph
2. I nominate Wicked Ortega as King of Sending Me Cool Cards.
3. Because horses are good at puzzles and men are good at watching horses do puzzles. And because horses are pretty dumb so they needed a lot of them. Worst answer ever.
1. The Princess Bride. I was going to go with King Ralph, but Kevin beat me to it.
2. Danica Patrick, Queen of Hissyfits
3. I’m assuming that they were at peace, otherwise, what was HD doing sitting on a wall, exposed? Since all the king’s men had nothing to do, have them help. And how do they get there? All the king’s horses. One man per horse, please.
1. Braveheart because William Wallace was the king of badassery and he stuck it to the “Anglish” King.
2. Kevin James would be the “King of Queens” and rule over my trade packages
3. Because you can have your way with all ladies of all the kings men while they are away. I’m in no way advocating infidelity’
1. Secondhand Lions – The lion is King of the Jungle, right?
2. Me, I would appoint myself as the King over nothing special, cause nothing special needs nobody special to rule over it, guard it, and nuture it until it becomes something special, then someone else can take over it!! (Hey, you wanted originality)
3. I’m completely mental!! Send all the kings horses to be made into glue, that should help with the reassembly of the clumsy egg. (the French invading?? Yeah, that’s gonna happen!!!)
1. I really liked The King’s Speech, and thought it was a deserving winner, so I’ll take that as my favorite King movie.
2. I’m going to nominate David Letterman as the king of late night (if he’s not already), just because it always baffled me that there was this split between him and Leno when he was clearly the far superior host.
3. This one is easy, the send all the kings horses and all the kings men for one reason only; because it rhymes.
The Real Person!
Author Jon acts as a real person and passed all tests against spambots. Anti-Spam by CleanTalk.
I can already tell this is going to be my favorite contest of the year! Love the responses so far. Keep it up, guys!
1. Monty Python & The Holy Grail (Arthur…King of the Brittons)
2. In keeping with a card theme…Dick Perez would most certainly be the “Diamond King”
3. If I remember my British History class that I took in college, wasn’t Humpty Dumpty a euphemism for the poorly planned attack by King Richard III during the War of the Roses? For some reason, I remember our professor telling us this. So the story goes if I remember, he arrogantly sent all of his men on horseback to attack Henry Tudor’s men, who he assumed were only a small force. He was subsequently ambushed and killed because his backup was no where nearby to help. Maybe I’m wrong but that’s what I’m going with. So all the Kings horses, and all the Kings men were sent to fight for their king but he was already dead.
1. Johnny English – Rowen Atkinson in a James Bond spoof saving the Royal Family. ’nuff said.
2. Christopher Walken as The King of Hollywood. He could clean up all the idiot celebrities and kill all the paparazzi.
3. It’s kinda like when Brigham Young said “Go West young men, go West” while he stayed East with all the women.
1. Lion King – Both because lion’s are kings of the jungle and the obvious take off of Hamlet
2. Manny Pacquiao as the King of the Ring. First runner-up is Alex Ovechkin as Queen of the Ice (have you seen his tramp stamp?)
3. If you send all the kings mean, the will undoubtedly need horses to travel on, thus reasoning sending all the kings horses as well. I think a more poignant question is why did Jack and Jill BOTH have to go up a hill to fetch a pail of water?
1. The Royal Tenenbaums
2. Kevin Garnett = the king of DBs……enough said
3. humpty dumpty was like chris farley. he was the dude that made everyone laugh and didn’t give a dam about what people said. he was crazy and loved and the world needed him back
1. Harold and Kumar go to White CASTLE
2. Upgrade Ozzy from the Price of Darkness to the KING, ALL HAIL OZZY! RULER OF METAL!!!
3. So that Jack and Jill could “have it off behind their spouses back” behind the castle walls without getting arrested.
1) Stephen King’s Maximum Overdrive ~ Fun movie with a kick ass soundtrack.
2) Mickey Mantle is the king of cards numbered 7, Topps has seen to that.
3) All the kings horses and all the kings men were sent so the king could get with Humpty’s wife Rumpty Dumpty.
1. Pulp Fiction. You’re a smart cookie. I’ll let you figure out why, with cheese.
2. Mr. T should be King of the World because he scares me. And he has a key chain with some choice quotes. The only other person I know who has a choice quotes key chain is David Hasselhoff. But does David Hasselhoff have a mohawk? No, sir. Therefore Mr. T is better and he deserves the title King of the World.
3. Dennis Hopper was after the King and since Keanu Reeves was busy filming Point Break that day, Humpty Dumpty was the only person who could save him. When Dennis Hopper’s chasing you and your life is on the line, you go all in.
1) The Chronicles of Narnia – The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe. Castles, prince & princess and kings
2) Aaron Rodgers as the King of Gridiron. Dominates the defended, rules over offense and the Packers reign supreme.
3) Because there wasn’t a big enough pan for an omelete.